RVP’s secret plot coming together nicely
June 28, 2012
Back in May while pontificating on the likelihood of Robin Van Persie signing a new contract for the club I posited a fairly spurious theory.
What if Robin knew all along that he wanted to stay at Arsenal but decided to use his situation not only to force the club to make some big name signings but also to throw our Premier League rivals into disarray by flirting with their affections, demanding huge sums of money, forcing them to sell key squad members and provoking internal discord before late in the summer announcing that he was staying at Arsenal after all? We get a fancy new squad, our rivals get severely weakened ahead of the new Premier League season.
Now, I was only joking but signs seem to be emerging that, whether intentional or not, that could be exactly what’s going on this summer. First of all, since I came up with the theory we’ve signed two of the hottest strikers in Europe in Podolski and Giroud, Wenger placing these expensive gifts at Robin’s feet in the hope that they might please him. And now it seems a row has erupted up at Manchester City as Roberto Mancini has demanded that the Van Persie signing be made a priority while the ‘bean counters’ in charge (because they’re working with such a tight budget at City) are insisting that at least one or two of their abundance of expensive strikers get moved on before a deal is struck.
Brilliant! This is all too perfect!
I mean, yeah, the whole story sort of makes me sick to my stomach. Mancini’s behaving like one of those horribly spoilt rich kids:
‘I want a Castle Grayskull!’
‘Well we’re getting you a Castle Grayskull for your birthday, honey bunch.’
‘I want it NOW!!!’
‘Well then you won’t have anything to open on your birthday, chuckle bumpkin!’
‘For my birthday I WANT OPTIMUS PRIME!’
He’s so used to operating with a bottomless pot that he loses his rag because he can’t have the world’s most in demand striker immediately. Nevermind the fact that he might be central to another club’s plans for the season.
Anyway, I hope they go into full on meltdown over it and that RVP really is doing all of this deliberately and is about to sign a contract extension before hopping on a train, riding up to Manchester, taking a cab over to the City training ground… and laughing in Mancini’s face before smashing his Castle Grayskull to pieces.
And according to the usually reliable David Ornstein of BBC Sport, there’s a decent chance that could happen. Not the Castle Grayskull bit. Yesterday he tweeted:
Van Persie to resume talks with Arsenal when back from Caribbean break. He’s keen to stay, with or without new contract. Ball in #afc court.
Let’s see.
In other news, The Independent seem confident that Terry Burton is about to become our new reserve team coach, replacing Neil Banfield who of course has been promoted to the first team. Burton assumed the same role for a short time in the mid 80’s having before that worked as youth team coach, helping to bring through the likes of David Rocastle, Tony Adams, Michael Thomas and Paul Merson. If he had anywhere near as much luck this time around we’d be doing very well indeed.
It would be an interesting appointment, doing much after the departure of Pat Rice to keep open our links with the Arsenal old school.
One player he won’t be bringing through the ranks is Alban Bunjaku. The 18 year old who I thought looked extremely promising as an attacking midfielder has not been offered pro terms and has been allowed to sign for Sevilla instead. According to the excellent @YoungGunsBlog over at Twitter there were some question marks over his attitude which may well be the reason the club got rid. A shame for him but a warning there no doubt for the rest of his generation of promising kids. Put in the work required or we will let you go.
It seems to mark an increased ruthlessness of late as the club let players go even though they show a lot of promise. Contrast that with the case of Mark Randall for example who had a longer Arsenal career than David O’Leary despite never really looking like he was going to make the breakthrough at senior level. Randall was still playing for the reserve team two years ago at the ripe old age of 39! True story!
Right. That’s it for today. I’m off to conjure up more spurious Arsenal based conspiracy theories in the hope that they might weirdly come true. Have a good one.
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Comments
36 Responses to “RVP’s secret plot coming together nicely”
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Robin’s two women in life his Mommy n his Wifey both wanna stay back in London n i feel dats cuz Wenger has shown his mommy paris when her beloved son was lyin down on a stretcher so time to pay da dues robbbie;)
i cant see RvP going anywhere and fully expect him to finish his career at the Arsenal.
Terry Burton would be an excellent aquisition to our back room staff. he’s a lively personality with a big Arsenal history. i cant see him not coming back home to us, who who would you choose.. Wednesday or the Arsenal ?… its a no brainer
You moron…. Mark Randall is 22 as of today and plays for Chesterfield…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Randall_%28footballer%29
Get your sources sorted out man!!!
I would love this to be true, but afraid he is leaving, prior to the Euros he said after the euros he would DECIDE!
Think of the history Cole, Henri, Veira, Nasri, Toure, Aberyar, Clichy, ……….. money talks in football it matters to footballer if they earn 100K per week which is offshored or 110K per week.
Anyway a new season and we will just have to learn to cope and always be a little sad when RVP scores for another team.
@IndianGooner
It’s one of those funny things called a JOKE…
Get your head sorted out man!!!
Usually reliable Ornstein? You mean Arteta is not playing for us? Daily mirror?
If you want toward some credibility you really need to sort out your sources.
Indian Gooner doesnt like standup shows apparntley
Oh dear Indiangooner, you appear to be the moron!?
Excellent post as usual, love the conspiracy theory!!
How about one where Szcsezny agrees to play deliberately shite at the euros so he doesn’t get poached from the Arse?
Or,young Jack’s injury problems were resolved months ago but he has been part of an elaborate hoax to prevent him having to waste his time playing for England or pointless Olympic football….?
With the ball in arsenals court i think the club should do something like this. offer rvp a pay rise to £200k for the remainder of his contract plus a signing on fee if he signs a new contract at anytime. however should he leave at the end of the contract then 50% of his pay rise ie £100k a week should returned.
IndianGooner – Hold fire with your moronic and ironic insults until you’ve googled both ‘joke’ and ‘irony’.
Your comment is comedy gold.
It is blatantly obvious,not fantasy,that RvP has been using his high scoring and final year’s positions to drag Arsenal into the big picture as all other efforts have failed. And it would not be surprised that AW is fully aware of it but graciously plays the part to tip the leverage as the board is offered only one option or be taken over. All in all RvP will be remembered for more than just a one season wonder or a great captain but a major pivoting force to force the club back into history. Mark this thought as we will win silverware sooner than belief.
IndianGooner, u mad bro? Here’s one for ya:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
The Randall thing cracked me up, didn’t turn up for matches with loan clubs, admitted to smoking 60 a day (Re: above) but AW has his favourites… collective sigh for Vela…
I also thought Bunjaku looked a real player, but with the likes of Toral, Aneke, Henderson etc floating around this hopefully won’t be the end of the world.
Rvp should not leave Arsenal,we should always remember that in football cash talks,if any team offer good money then let me say the club will do two things;sell him or sell him nothing more…..believe me
Indian gooner you make me ashamed to be a British indian gooner. Sort your life out today please
@John – Not sure what you mean about Ornstein. He was reporting the Arteta transfer last year and at one point reported that talks had broken down. As far as I’m aware he was right. They did break down. Which is why the deal was done so late and I think why Arteta took a pay cut to make the move happen.
What’s the story with the Daily Mirror? He works for the BBC.
I’m well aware that no journalist gets things right 100% of the time and some are prone to simply making stuff up but I don’t think Ornstein’s one of them.
Adebayor left and dere was no fabregas to give him killa pass in man city he bcame bench warmer, nasri left manu bcam unserious about de title he bcom outmouthed hero wu could’t score up to ten goals without ashavin making him look like de next france zidane. Now dnt boda about rvb if he goes, dere will be no song to make him look like caantona. Gunnas for life
Enjoying your posts mate, you have become my daily Arsenal fix.
What you all reckon about the defence? I’m worried about how many goals we shipped last year, and that without Arteta in the side we were hopeless.
The M’Villa thing doesn’t look good right now, as it sounds like he’s a real lose cannon.
If Arteta is injured, will Frimpong come through? I hope so.
Generally really excited about next season but hoping Wenger has realised a few things about how we defend…or don’t! Left back is a concerning area actually.
Tell you what though, what ridiculous attacking options we’ll have if RVP stays!
I got a ‘Castle Grayskull’ for my birthday, it was amazing! I was 31 years old at the time though……
RE ScotchEggsRule, did you get OPTIMUS PRIME the year after?
lets hope this Ornsteins contacts are in the know and its not more made up waffle
Still laughing@ Indiagooner!!
Am not worried abt RVP leaving. You say I must be mad. I say no sir/madam. Look at this: we had you for what, 8 seasons and as soon as you play your first whole season you want out coz someone is giving you 250000 a week? Go in peace and let me have £30m to splash about acquiring new players.
RVP has been poor both in World cup and EURO so I think can it be just a coincidence or its something in Arsenal that make him shine?
Heh, let it be. Its been nice to know you when you came as a kid with temper. Remember when he came on against Southampton at Highburry and scored a header. Few minutes later he knocked someone out and sent off. What a kid, what a man.
Nothing last for ever.
I like Mark Raddall but I like indiangooner too…
which is better, there’s only one way to find out…
FIGHT!!!!
I think if RVP won’t sign then he should be sold,
same for Theo and Song. Arsenal is a team not a group of individuals.
Haha. Indian Gooner – That was a classic mate.
@Mark
I think Ornstein is one of the most reliable football sources. And he works for BBC not Daily Mirror. The author also writes ‘usually reliable’ implying that he is not always totally correct in what he says but is most of the time. So picking one incident (which I’m not even sure you’re right about tbh, sure I remember him talking about the possibility of Arteta long before anyone else) doesn’t mean that he is not ‘usually reliable’.
I don’t know if its a myth or the law of nature; virtually all the players who left Arsenal when they were supposed to pay back the trust invested in them by Arsene Wenger do not do well after departure, we have a lorry load of them. Cece is doing well possibly because for a long time he was diplomatic about his move. if the best way for Van Persey to Arsenal fans and the supporters after years of incessant injuries is to call it quite after the only season we could really say we enjoyed him as our player, then let him go. But remember injuries still may occur any time anywhere (though we do not wish you that). Think deep and make a choice RVP
RVP always stated that he wanted top signings before he considered penning a new contract and it was the media that said he might leave, not him. Which really worked in our favour as you’ve stated. I truly believe that he’ll stay
)
Lovely idea, but it’s impossible. Because no club would believe a player is in cahoots with them and let them leave it so late on a gentleman’s agreement to destablise another team.
Indiangooner….you moron for two reasons…
the second being you spoiling my name…
Dont stress u guys, this guy will get injured b4 he joins city,or may even flop next season still hope he stays men.
what if he really wanted out like Fabregas, Nasri, Henry and Flamini?
Good post. Would love your conspiracy theory to be true. also someone should tell Mancini that Castle Greyskulls can be purchased from more than one shop. Or with a splash of Blue Peter type gumption maybe he could make his own.
In other news, that no one will believe thanks to the general lies on the internet, I was at the Emirates today and heard that Djourou has gone.
still laughing @ indiangooner…..
let him go!! unless he want’s to stay loyal! simple as!
Oh dear, doesn’t anyone realize that someone most likely posted an obviously ridiculous comment about Randall and then conveniently signed it IndianGooner? I’m only surprised at the sophistication displayed by not signing it PakiGooner.
Lol interesting theorie, i think not though….
he,s gone plus the french guy is much better what to of the best strikers Podolski there is about 10 30m + strikers out there we get a 7m one that can,t get a start in the middle anywhere